I Love My Family, I Love My Family, I Love My Fam...(and a Personal Victory)

So let me take a moment to share some of my chaos lately. And it is chaotic - so grab a drink & sit back.

Last weekend, Bossyhead had a soccer game about 30 minutes away. It was in a neighboring community of my hometown. My hometown is where ALL of our immediate family lives. So they were thrilled that they didn't have to make the weekly 30 minute drive themselves. AND - when they find out we are heading out their direction - EVERYONE wants to see us! It becomes a long day.

Well, it was on a Sunday. We had church, then we got to eat lunch & find enough time to get ourselves ready for the game. We head out to the game and have to deal with MIL getting lost, so BIL had to drive her. So another family member. But, remember - I like him. Just don't tell him, it might go to his head. My folks were there, too. Well, after the soccer game, we were invited to go over my parents' house to take in the late afternoon football game on TV. So we agreed, then left a little early after our team put a whomping on our rivals! So we headed over to see my homebound grandmother for a little bit. That's hard to deal with sometimes, but it was a good visit & needed to happen. But we couldn't stay long since we needed to go over & see the inlaws. I was not looking forward to this visit. Because MIL had been dying for us to come over for weeks to show off their remote control Santa they got from their garage saleing. Well, we saw it. All hubsy & I could do was just shake our heads. MIL was over-giddy about it. And keep in mind that they have kept that Santa in their kitchen/living room area so we could see it. It's been there for about 3 weeks. Geesh. At this point I had a migraine setting in - any idea why? And then they all forgot & kept yelling at each other to 'come here' & then pull the 'OOPS - I forgot' thing when they realize how bad I hurt. *sigh* Remember? It's Sunday! Now it's a school night - and it IS night by this point. We are still 30 minutes from home & still need to get the kids cleaned up & in bed. Right? WRONG! My inlaws were getting new furniture & so ALL of their living room & dining room furniture were going over to my BIL's. He can't find anyone with a truck on such short notice - so - since hubsy has a truck, guess what that meant! *sigh* So they all load up the furniture to take another 15 minute drive to unload at BIL's. And I hurt. We finally got home late, but got the kids cleaned up & in bed after an overly exhausting day. Turned into a total omelette!

Then, of course the next day is Monday: DOORMAT duties & having to deal with DISORGANIZED DITTO-oh-oh-oh-oh. Well, when I got to Bossyhead's school, they weren't doing what I help with each week since it was a shortened school week. So? No having to deal with DISORGANIZED DITTO-oh-oh-oh-oh! YAY! Wait - short school week? *sigh*

We also dealt with parent-teacher conference (only for Bossyhead) and dealing with Woogie's birthday. I can't be old enough to have a 14 yr old! Not possible! But we'd been trying to figure out how to work having a get-together for his birthday, which is mostly with family. Of course.

Well, Bossyhead had his last game this past weekend, here on our home turf. So the family came out to watch (my mom & dad, , the inlaws, BIL, PLUS hubsy's aunt, uncle & cousin who happen to be in town). Now, when there's a game going of a kid your supporting, I would think you would pay attention. Only hubsy, peeping mom & I were the ones paying attention as needed. EVERYONE else was starting conversations & acted like they were the only ones there. SERIOUSLY! When a game is going & you come up to ask me how the movie way, I will walk away from you. Just for future reference. Oh, and it's not the time to talk about politics, talk horribly about people who are dead, and/or how everything should be about you. Oh, and I know you want to tell the kid you're supporting they are doing a great job, but just because he takes a break on the bench doesn't give you the right to just walk over & start a conversation with them. WAIT UNTIL AFTER THE GAME! That's all I'm saying. And yes, that's what we were dealing with. Oh, and don't put pressure on the kid you're watching to score a goal & make sure the team wins just for YOUR bragging rights.

Then, after the game, we all were going to head over to our house for a cookout to celebrate Woogie's bday. I made a swirl cake, but have no decorating skills for a cake. That's my mom's territory, but Woogie wanted me to do it. Of course. So I had to fake all the baking plus made extra cupcakes, too. I did all the baking BEFORE the game & knew I'd have to decorate while the WHOLE family was there. SURPRISE! This included everyone at the game PLUS: my brother, grandma (yay!), SIL & hubby + girls, and with the addition of Teen Diva's new boyfriend. Whew!

So now I have MIL whining because I didn't make cupcakes SHE wanted! Um - I think she forgets it's not HER party. Then she eventually begins to tell EVERYONE (loudly) about the bachelor & bachelorette parties at strip clubs that hubsy's aunt & uncle went to a year & a half ago AND started talking about stripper names & lap dances. Um - in front of the kids. When we told her to shut up, she just started loudly whispering the rest of her thought. Then when we tell her to shut up AGAIN (reminding her about her grandchildren), she gives it a break for about 2 minutes & starts in on it again. Ugh & ew! Peeping mom is standing around in the kitchen watching my decorating failures & wanting to help. But I can DO this!! So I try & the cake turned out crazy, messy, cool! She admitted she was impressed. And I made my own icing - which mom approves of! YAY! Oh, and MIL & the aunt devoured the 3 leftover pieces of birthday cookie cake that Woogie was hoping to hold onto to have at another time. But they were hungry & couldn't wait for the grilling, so they gobbled it up & MIL wanted to know about licking the beaters from the cake batter. I can't make this stuff up, people. Then Goober (belongs to MIL - the yang to her yang), is all heart but just needs to sit in a corner. He wants to help & is a lot of talkin' about stuff he actually doesn't get. Have I ever mentioned how the inlaws need a 24/7 chaperone or assisted living? Just wondering - it's because they do! Meeting the boyfriend was OK. He seemed nice enough & they were cute together even though he is about 3 of her (she's super petite with a tiny & he was very tall with a bigger frame). But he was prepared to meet the lunatics (because that's how Teen Diva described the whole family - nice). We had to deal with MIL wanting to know when we were doing the cake so she could eat 4 of my cupcakes. Geesh!

When it came time for gifts, Woogie got a few new shirts & a couple of jackets. MIL was just announcing & gushing about how 'pretty' was going to look going back to school on Monday. Ugh. My poor son. And when it was time for all to depart, the inlaws think they are in so good with my grandma. She thinks they are immature & need to grow up! HA!! So do the rest of us.

FINALLY when everyone left, we just had the boyfriend hanging around. His mom brought him was going to pick him up late. That's fine - let's get to know him! But when it came time for him to be picked up - he just left. Teen Diva walked him out, but he said nothing to us. *RED FLAG*

Well, on Sunday, Teen Diva got to sing a little bit of a solo EARLY with the 'old people choir'. Very proud of her! And one of the girls she's having teen drama with had to sit there & watch & listen. HA! Well, during another service (our normal one), Teen Diva got a text message from the boyfriend. Not a good one either. It was a BREAKUP TEXT!! Because he doesn't drive & they wouldn't get to hang out much. WHAT?? For being such a big guy, he was certainly a weenie! But Teen Diva may have another guy in the wings; one she already had a thing for but didn't think she had any chance with. Well, there might be now. I told her to change her focus since this pig isn't worth her hormonal emotions! But, in diva-fashion, I think she's milking it for all it's worth.

*DEEP BREATH IN; DEEP BREATH OUT*

Then yesterday came around - Monday. This would mean? DOORMAT duties (with the SUCKER hat). And I was putting my guard up for DISORGANIZED DITTO-oh-oh-oh-oh! When I showed up, the copies had not even been made yet - so I went to check on them ---- and my arch nemesis had not shown up yet. So - I took the copies & RAN to the copy room. So that meant I was in charge this time!! Eventually, DISORGANIZED DITTO-oh-oh-oh-oh came blowing in like a tumbleweed & I told her what she needed to do & how to do it! Guess what? We were organized & got done faster. Go figure. VICTORY IS MINE!!!

So, also had Halloween - I did extra DOORMAT duties at Bossyhead's school as I got roped into helping with the party. Apparently my 'NO' button was broken when I got asked. But that was fun & I got to take Bossyhead home early! Worked out great! Had to put up Halloween decor for the Trick or Treaters, get my costume on, help the kids with their costumes, set out the candy, eat dinner, and attempt to watch Monday Night Football. What a night!I do love Halloween!

So, my friends, that's what I've been up to. I think you're mostly caught up!
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Future White Elephants

My MIL is an avid garage saler. Sometimes it's to a fault. She has recently come into some extra freedom to go do more of it. The things she has ended up with lately, though have been MUCH less than appealing!

Recently the inlaws have been acquiring some animated animals that sing. 3 of them so far - one of them given to Teen Diva. A hamster singing "I'm Too Sexy" is Perfect White Elephant (PWE) #1.

They have also been picking up strange Christmas items. The most recent is a 3 ft tall, remote control Santa with a serving tray on his head. MIL is totally giddy about playing with it & making it go through their place. They want us out very soon to show it to us. Ick.

So, onto the visit last night. They came over after - you guessed it - garage saling ALL DAY LONG. Yay for us.

We have a rule at our house that the kids cannot have food or drink in their rooms. It's due to saving all of us from unneeded spills, germs, extra trash & missing dishes. I think it makes sense. But - when the inlaws showed up last night, this is what we find for Teen Diva:



When I confronted MIL about how this is not allowed, she informed me it is just for water. So I explained that this will encourage the disappearance of cups & glasses into Teen Diva's black hole. MIL said they planned on buying her little paper cups to keep in there. So - encouraging more trash. Oh, and spillage. I was pissed! And MIL didn't understand why. So? PWE #2 in the works - I don't care how much Teen Diva likes it.

Then, when I had a chance to just sit down on the couch, I saw one of the most horrendous things I have ever, Ever, EVER laid my eyes on. All I can say at this moment is - prepare yourselves.







Brace yourselves.









But here is what I promised.











Are you ready?















Are you sure?














Is the suspense killing you?






















Are you all OK? I still haven't recovered. Partially because it is still in our house! The inlaws noticed I wasn't as "taken" with it as MIL. She thought it was so pretty! She wanted Hubsy to put it in his office. Hubsy can't even look at it. And yes, what you are looking at what is PWE #3 - a seashell crucifix. A seashell cross is weird enough, but a plastic bleeding Jesus hanging from it, too? Then, even better - MIL said they had to fix Jesus' arm because it broke. They superglued the arm back on! I'm speechless looking at it - so is Hubsy.

And, not sure if I'm happy for this or hurting for them, but Woogie & Bossyhead didn't really get anything. Well, Bossyhead got pajamas that WE requested they pick up. So we knew what we were getting, but I can't imagine if they picked things out on their on at garage sales. Yowza.

So, since the inlaws are each other's yin to their yin (yes ,they are TOO much alike), and cannot discern anything, I'm am in true belief they need 24/7 chaperoning. Save us all!
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Woogie is our Walton

I tend to post a lot about Teen Diva & Bossyhead. They tend to tear our world up the most in the wildest of ways sometimes. But I started realizing that I don't blog about Woogie too much. Usually just a quick little blurb in a Facebook post. So this one is for Woogie!

Woogie is our middle schooler. He is very smart (and I'm not just saying because I'm the mama). He had some medical issues as a baby & has fought through some appearance things. He was so adorable as a tot with a slight speech impediment. As he was getting into awkwardly aging years, there was some bullying going on with him. It has been heartbreaking.

Believe it or not, Woogie is a good kid despite being a teenager. He's not enjoying the transitions going on within him at all. And he doesn't like the way he ends up acting sometimes & he wears his heart on his sleeve. With Woogie, it's all or nothing!

Now because of some of what he has been through growing up, he tends to block things out around him. He is our oblivious child. He can start a conversation with you, no matter what is going on around - even if you are in a conversation with someone else. He tells you all kinds of things he thinks you need to know - even if you don't want to know. He has a vast knowledge of many things and tends to begin a conversation with you in the middle of the thought process already going in his Energizer-bunny-type brain. And, he speaks very loudly. Often.

His ability to talk to anyone at great length about anything at anytime is a blessing and a curse. Bless his heart.

And since he does have such a big heart, he cares what others think - usually. He has a big heart for others & a very charitable heart. He always has. And it's because of this, he is our John-Boy. (reference for those who ever watched the Waltons).

Woogie can't leave the house or go to bed without covering every person at least twice. We literally get this pretty much every morning:
"Bye guys. See you later. Have good days. Tell Bossyhead bye for me. We will see you after school. Hope you have a good days. I love you & see you guys later. Bye."

Or when it's time to go to bed:
"Good night guys. Have a good night. Sweet dreams. I told Teen Diva good night. I shut up the dog for the night. I brushed my teeth. I'm going to tell Bossyhead good night & tell him sweet dreams. So sleep good guys. I love you. Good night."

I wish I were exaggerating about the Walton-ness of Woogie, but I'm not. Hubsy & I laugh to ourselves about it often. Hubsy has even tried to throw Woogie off guard by doing it back, but the obliviousness of Woogie sets in, and he doesn't get it.

And if you missed why he's called "Woogie", it a mash-up of Wikipedia & Google with a touch of a Star Wars reference. That would be my kid. He can be annoying, but he's a good kid that we are proud of.

So, I hope you liked the post. I hope you read more. Hope it gave you a good snicker. I will see you later. I will check in later. See you soon. Bye.
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Redefining the Mom Jean

Woogie has a really bad habit of not cleaning out his pockets before putting pants in the laundry. I would generally think about emptying them, but he keeps his laundry in his room for long periods of time; by the time I get laundry from him, I'm so excited that he is going to wear clean clothes that I forget about the pockets.

Woogie likes to keep pens & pencils mostly in his pockets. Well, I discovered, in the dryer, pens & parts as well as mechanical pencils & filler lead falling out of the front of the dryer when I opened the door. The pen & parts were of the black ink sort. So I frantically started pulling out this large load of laundry to see how much of it was ruined! The only marks on anything I found were a few red marker-like dots on a pair of Teen Divas shorts (she needs to get rid of them anyway) & a couple of the same mark types on a pair of pants of mine that I REALLY like. Then, when all of the clothing items were removed, there it was...the red pen. It marked up the inside of the dryer a little, but it turned out to be a miracle load of laundry!

So I got thinking, which can be scary sometimes, but here goes: as a mom, we tend to get spills & stains of all sorts on our pants. We work hard to get out or cover up the bleach drips, ketchup or mustard drops, blood streaks from wounds (or otherwise), grass stains, pen marks, dirt, spit up, wine, mystery marks, etc. But stop to think why we try. They should be like our war wounds of what we go through. Screw trying to get them out! Set those suckers in & show the world what we do.

So, this is my proposal for the new Mom Jean: have the stains & distress already in them as they continue to be a work in progress. They are a canvas of mommy art & still fashionable. Forget the high-waisted, tapered things that carry the name now. Let's work to reinvent them! And just add glitter (if it isn't already spilled on it from a craft) with wine stains to become your cocktail mom jeans. Add a pretty blouse or sweater & heels for the adult night out.

Who's on board? Work it, girl!
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What Has Happened to Me?

I became a S@HM for the 3rd time over two years ago. In between, I had a working life.

When I was at a J.O.B., I found that my holiday or wish lists included things to look good for work, things that would help me through the day, gift cards that I could get that stuff myself, etc. But lately I began to realize these wants have changed.

I have started baking more in the last year. I realized that I wanted several things for that: baking pans, utensils, major mixers, etc. Trust me, 5 years ago, this never would have crossed my mind!

Also, a few days ago, we had some chicken thawed out for hubsy to grill. The one day that fit in our schedule for him to grill, he didn't feel like it. I can count on 1 hand how many times I have ever fixed chicken. Seriously. Usually that's a thing hubsy works with. Well, we had to use the chicken. I know many are pulling out the crock pots again, so I decided to do the same. You know - "lazy cooking". I threw in some seasoning stuff that hubsy would have used for grilling into the crock pot with the chicken. Very happy with how it came out & I didn't have to worry about burning it. So, since our crock pot was one of our wedding gifts, which was before timers were being put on them, I find myself wanting to do more lazy cooking & get an updated crock pot.

Really? A mixer? A crock pot? What is happening to me? Just the other day, hubsy took Woogie & Bossyhead to the driving range while Teen Diva stayed home to break into some sewing & I stayed around to bake. Uh - what stereo types did we just become? I think I'm more bothered that I was OK with it!

I have read articles around gift-giving holidays that there are certain gifts you should NEVER give a woman. One of the things pointed out happened to be kitchen appliances, even if she asks for it. Two years ago, or before, I would have completely agreed with it! However, if I ask for this stuff - I really do want it! I would be so overjoyed by getting a new big mixer or a fancy lazy cooker!

Trust me. If any family members ever read this, they would be taking me to a hospital or checking me into a psyche ward. Luckily, this is my time away from them, so I can look & feel pathetic to my neighbors.

So, you can get me a new coffee pot, too.
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Omelette Day: The Hectic, The Good, The Bad AND Ugly

Originally, my only obligation for Labor Day was helping out with my goddaughter's 16th birthday. It was happening in my hometown. All of our family also live in my hometown, so once they caught wind of needing to be out there, they started bookending the day quickly. So, if you saw my recent Omelette Week post, imagine it happening within a day.

I got some baking done for the birthday party, but it turned out I burned some of it. Ugh. By the time I figured it out, I needed to go to bed. So I had to redo some of the baking first thing this morning by getting up early. Ugh. I was finishing some laundry, too. I was going like crazy for over 3 hours before I even got to get cleaned up. By then, I had about 45 minutes to get cleaned up & completely ready to begin our day. Teen Diva wasn't fairing so well as she wasted her time. Bossyhead needed cleaned up & tried to worm his way out of it - I won that round. Woogie just went with the flow, luckily. Hubsy decided to leave the premisses while all of this was going on - not a help.

We did make it out the door to go meet my family at a restaurant for lunch & surprise my grandmother. That was a nice visit & we had a great server. Then onto the next part of the day: the birthday party.

Teen Diva & I went to the party. It was great fun, plus I got to hang out with my childhood best friend & her family. We are a big bunch of dorks who can whoop it up with or without help (like wine). We only drank lemonade with the teenagers there, and I think we had more fun dancing & such than they did. What a great time! Then came dinner with the inlaws.

I want to make it clear that I love my inlaws - I really, REALLY do. But it's hard to defend that & show it after this evening. Last weekend, when they were over at our place, we fixed them enchiladas. So when they took the back bookend of the day, they wanted to feed us, too. They hoped for some grilling time, but decided last minute to fix...enchiladas. Plus they were going to invite a whole group of people. This is not a big deal, but stick with me.

My brother inlaw has this one friend who I do not approve of. He is morally screwed up & just not right. He can convince people to do things, but not me. When he comes, guess who leaves the room if possible? *raises hand* I was not informed he was going to be there, and I never want him around my kids - EVER! Well, while Teen Diva & I were whooping it up, the boys were going to go get haircuts. My MIL said that one of the girls coming by does hair & was going to check to see if she could come out early to help out. Well, after all the hair was cut (not happy with Woogie's), we all gathered around to start eating.

As we sat down, in through the back door entered Unwanted. They all know my feelings for this guy. My sister inlaw feels the same way I do & won't let him near her kids either. That should be a hint. Well, I noticed he sat with my kids & the haircutter, then realized he shared a seat with her. I later asked who the girl actually was. As it turns out, she is one of the infidelities of Unwanted. I was angry with my inlaws for making this OK since they know my feelings about Unwanted, but my hubsy too for allowing all of this to be around & touch my children! I'm not speaking to hubsy - or MIL. Never should've happened. I'm still livid.

Maybe I'm tired, maybe I'm PMSing, but the middle part of the whole day is what I'm clinging to. Oh, and the fact that the inlaws didn't dress as twinkie-twins for the first time in weeks. Thank God!

So, how was your Labor Day?
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Get a Flow Chart - It's My Fault

I'm not even sure how it happened - but I have an idea:

If you kept up on Facebook with our family visit to 'Hillbilly Fest' (name given by a friend), then you will understand our late afternoon. We didn't stay very long due to the enormous amount of Labor Day weekend crowds there, anyway. Since we were all hungry, we decided to leave to get something to eat.

Hubsy began to poll the kids about eating establishment possibilities. Of course they were all over the board, but a pizza joint & a sub sandwich place seemed to be the front runners. Bossyhead was loudly hoping for the sub sandwich place, but the vote (apparently) rested with me. I was hungry & it didn't matter what we had. However, one did win out - pizza sounded better to me than the subs. So, pizza it was!

When we got into the restaurant, it was obvious how cold it was. I figured we would all warm up a bit when we got our food, but it was SERIOUSLY cold! And it didn't help that our food took a LONG time to get to us. Teen Diva was already mad that we didn't just pick up some fast food since she didn't want to wait at all. Oops.

As we waited...a long...LONG time, Bossyhead started reiterating how cold it was, figured that if we went to the sub shop, then we wouldn't be cold. He then decided that since the final vote was mine, it was all MY fault he was cold at that moment.

Yes indeed, too smart for is own 6-year-old good.

The food was good, and we all survived.

Did you need that flow chart?
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