Mama Really Does Know Best

It is crazy to believe that Teen Diva is in her last few weeks of high school. Where does the time go?

The current event focus is prom. PROM!! Supposedly the best night of your entire high school career! (Next to every homecoming dance, or graduation, or whatever. Prom.)

It's the night you look like a princess (hopefully), and you have the best date EVER, and he's like totally your boyfriend, and, like, totally the man of your dreams...and he's gonna be a perfect gentleman, and he's gonna buy you dinner & the ridiculously priced tickets, and a limo waiting with a perfect corsage. *SIGH*

But then what happens when he's not quite the gentleman? Oh, this could go several ways. I'll let your brain take one of those trails on it's own.

But I have come up with a plan as only a mama could!

My daughter will get to go to prom, look like a princess, feel like a princess, have fun, have a date, not get her heart broken, and will not have to worry about after-date pressure!

Are you ready to hear this tip?

Before I give you the tip, let me give you the date story first. You'll see where I'm going with this:

Teen Diva has this guy "friend". We are gonna call him "Lanky". Teen Diva & Lanky have this "complicated" relationship...probably the kind that Facebook means in that option of a relationship status. It's like an open flirtationship, but they are like an old married couple, too. It's like they are Will & Grace, but Lanky is more straight than Will. Maybe they are a little more like Beca & Jesse from 'Pitch Perfect.' You know - that whole "whatever this is" kind of relationship. It makes us crazy!

Will & Grace                      Jesse & Beca

However, last year, he sweetly asked Teen Diva to his prom (as they attend different schools) in, what has been dubbed, a "promposal." Don't even get me started on these! But this one was not done in some crazy and over-the-top fashion. It was very personal, didn't involve a crowd & wasn't recorded for some show or news team. However, she had to turn him down! It was the same weekend of her school play, which she had a very large role in. He seemed to understand (he's a theater kid, too), but she was heartbroken. We totally understood.

When this year came around, Lanky told Teen Diva he wanted to take her to her prom & with the same promposal as last year. Don't worry - Teen Diva loved just as much. So when they began to plan it out, it turned out his prom was on the same night as hers. And? He'd already promised someone he was going with them to HIS prom. Teen Diva was disappointed, but not upset. We were confused.

Here we were - all excited she was going to have a date to prom (because she never had a date to any homecoming dance), and then...BOOM!
I like Lanky OK, but he's kind of weird. And he has a thing for my daughter, but he keeps getting other girlfriends. Don't get me wrong - Teen Diva does the same with him, but they are not helping each other. So, not sure how I would trust this guy taking my kid to prom anyway.

No matter, Teen Diva decided she would go with her very good friend, "Clone Diva". Clone Diva is almost just like Teen Diva, they just don't look alike. But, WOW, do they ever act alike!
So Teen Diva & Clone Diva were just going to stag, but as each other's dates. WAH-Wah-waaahh...(that's a sad trombone playing)

Clone Diva's mom got the girls a limo to go in. That's pretty awesome. Teen Diva is narrowing down a dress. Clone Diva already has a dress, and was trying to get Teen Diva to have a dress almost just like hers! Uh - that won't happen. But it came to light that Clone Diva was going to her former school's prom with a good guy friend of hers. So, I got thinking.

Teen Diva has a really good childhood guy friend that she keeps in contact with. They don't get to see each other very often since they are at different schools now, but they are always entertaining when they are together. I had always thought that they should get married later in life! He is a theater kid, too. His dad is a big local actor. So we are going to call this friend "Performance Guy".

I decided to try to convince Teen Diva to track down Performance Guy & see if he would be her date. She laughed at the idea, but then decided she would check with him. So she had an impromptu promposal text conversation:

          TD: Hey! What do you have going on [date of prom]?

          PG: I don't think I have anything going on. Why? What's up?

          TD: How would you like to hang out with me for about 4 hours 

while wearing a tux?

          PG: SURE! I would love to!

          TD: You do know I'm talking about prom, right?

          PG: I figured!

It was a resounding "YES"!! And they are planning out how they are going to look.

Teen Diva just wanted to look like a Disney princess for her senior prom. We could not afford the ball gowns she truly wanted. Sad, I know. I do wish we could have done the Cinderella-looking dress that looked amazing on her. But we had her looking at other dresses, too - just in case. She tried on a mermaid-style dress. It's a turquoisey-tealy green kind of color. It looked awesome on her! And, I did remind her that it looked very Ariel. She is a lot like Ariel in a whole lot of ways. Well, except for that swimming underwater thing - but personality, looks, etc. Yeah - that.

So I was helping her imagine if she had a prom style that was Ariel inspired. It would still be very Disney princess! But then I got her thinking that if she took Performance Guy as her date - he could have his style look like...
...
    ...
...
    ...

FLOUNDER!

Yes - not Eric, but Flounder.
Why?

Image of Ariel & Flounder via superwolfqueen21 at deviantART HERE

This would be a totally plutonic date. Performance Guy would totally be Teen Diva's sidekick! Right?

When Performance Guy asked Teen Diva her dress color & wanted to know what he should wear to match, she hesitantly brought up the idea of Ariel & Flounder. He LOVED it & was right on what he might be wearing to escort her! She is delighted!

So, Clone Diva is taking her guy friend & Teen Diva is going with Performance Guy. A double prom date in a limo. It will be held at a beloved stadium in our area. So exciting!

Oh, and I'm so glad she's taking Performance Guy! We know we have nothing to worry about. How do I know this? He is not interested in getting her out of her dress.

Oh wait - did I forget to mention this? He's gay.

Since I know there's no chance of her marrying him, he can at least be her plutonic prom date! He's already making sure she's gonna look fabulous, and he's all in on the Disney theme.

I am so excited for her! And, you know what? They are going to have so much more fun!

No pressure.
No heartbreaks.
Just fabulous fun!

If you're concerned about your daughter going to prom (or homecoming) with a date, just hope she has a really good guy friend who is gay! Have your daughter go with him.

This will be Teen Diva & Performance Guy at prom!

See? Mama knows what she's talking about. Teen Diva is excited & horrified at this revelation.

Oh, and Teen Diva totally has her own Will (Performance Guy) and Jesse (Lanky). So glad she's going with her Will!

Parenting Win From the Naughty Side

Hello, Neighbors!

Yes, it's been almost 2 years since I've been around the neighborhood. Actually I moved into the neighborhood just over 2 years ago before needing to get some real life things in order.

I'm not fully back...yet...still not where I can give my neighbors the attention I'd like to give again, but I wanted to share another parenting win with you.

In the 2 years I've been on hiatus, Teen Diva has become a senior. Not sure how that happened, but there you have it. However, she still looks & acts like a middle schooler. That part is frustrating. The acting like one. The fact that she still looks so young will serve her well later in life. But I want to get back to the actions.

Remember back when I had be HOSTAGE TAKER OF ELECTRONICS? Well that hasn't really let up. We can't trust her with her electronics - still.

* Lately, Hubsy has hidden her electronics in one of the drawers of his dresser. It was working pretty well. Then one morning, recently, I busted her with her iPod. I took it & hid it in one of my drawers. And she had a harder grounding with her phone.

* Then I woke her up one morning while she had her laptop with her. BUSTED! Took it & placed it back in Hubsy's drawer & discovered she wasn't supposed to have it. D'oh! More phone grounding.

* When she came home from school the other day, I figured out she was listening to music on something. When I asked what it was, she sighed heavily & handed over her iPod. Hmmm...

* Yesterday morning, I woke her up to having her e-reader AND her phone! Totally Busted! Not supposed to have either.

You see, she'd been rummaging through all of our things to find her stuff & sneak it back. So I hid it ALL in a place where she'd have to work to get to it.

Before I continue, I want to point out that Hubsy & I love to gross out our kids. You know...mushy/gushy sayings of love to each other, big sloppy kisses & fake make-out sessions in front of the kids. It's so much fun to see their faces, watch them twitch & contort, and then to hear the things they say! So entertaining!

Then I got an idea.

An awful idea.

I got an wonderful, awful idea!

See, I have this drawer. Most of you may have one of these. It's not a junk drawer, but instead holds...uh..."special things." You know what I'm sayin'? *wink, wink* 
Some drawers hold pretty, silky, satiny, lacy things;
some drawers hold batteries & leather things;
some drawers hold "literature";
some drawers hold "action" movies;
some drawers hold any combo of the above

No matter, usually it's fun for the grownups to get that moment to rummage through those drawers.

I'm not going to say what is in my special drawer, but I told Hubsy that I plan on moving Teen Diva's electronics into that drawer. So, we she goes rummaging through our things to take back these things...I would love to see her face when she finds that drawer! It will be an glorious & hilarious day!

See? More good parenting at it's finest.

I Love My Family, I Love My Family, I Love My Fam...(and a Personal Victory)

So let me take a moment to share some of my chaos lately. And it is chaotic - so grab a drink & sit back.

Last weekend, Bossyhead had a soccer game about 30 minutes away. It was in a neighboring community of my hometown. My hometown is where ALL of our immediate family lives. So they were thrilled that they didn't have to make the weekly 30 minute drive themselves. AND - when they find out we are heading out their direction - EVERYONE wants to see us! It becomes a long day.

Well, it was on a Sunday. We had church, then we got to eat lunch & find enough time to get ourselves ready for the game. We head out to the game and have to deal with MIL getting lost, so BIL had to drive her. So another family member. But, remember - I like him. Just don't tell him, it might go to his head. My folks were there, too. Well, after the soccer game, we were invited to go over my parents' house to take in the late afternoon football game on TV. So we agreed, then left a little early after our team put a whomping on our rivals! So we headed over to see my homebound grandmother for a little bit. That's hard to deal with sometimes, but it was a good visit & needed to happen. But we couldn't stay long since we needed to go over & see the inlaws. I was not looking forward to this visit. Because MIL had been dying for us to come over for weeks to show off their remote control Santa they got from their garage saleing. Well, we saw it. All hubsy & I could do was just shake our heads. MIL was over-giddy about it. And keep in mind that they have kept that Santa in their kitchen/living room area so we could see it. It's been there for about 3 weeks. Geesh. At this point I had a migraine setting in - any idea why? And then they all forgot & kept yelling at each other to 'come here' & then pull the 'OOPS - I forgot' thing when they realize how bad I hurt. *sigh* Remember? It's Sunday! Now it's a school night - and it IS night by this point. We are still 30 minutes from home & still need to get the kids cleaned up & in bed. Right? WRONG! My inlaws were getting new furniture & so ALL of their living room & dining room furniture were going over to my BIL's. He can't find anyone with a truck on such short notice - so - since hubsy has a truck, guess what that meant! *sigh* So they all load up the furniture to take another 15 minute drive to unload at BIL's. And I hurt. We finally got home late, but got the kids cleaned up & in bed after an overly exhausting day. Turned into a total omelette!

Then, of course the next day is Monday: DOORMAT duties & having to deal with DISORGANIZED DITTO-oh-oh-oh-oh. Well, when I got to Bossyhead's school, they weren't doing what I help with each week since it was a shortened school week. So? No having to deal with DISORGANIZED DITTO-oh-oh-oh-oh! YAY! Wait - short school week? *sigh*

We also dealt with parent-teacher conference (only for Bossyhead) and dealing with Woogie's birthday. I can't be old enough to have a 14 yr old! Not possible! But we'd been trying to figure out how to work having a get-together for his birthday, which is mostly with family. Of course.

Well, Bossyhead had his last game this past weekend, here on our home turf. So the family came out to watch (my mom & dad, , the inlaws, BIL, PLUS hubsy's aunt, uncle & cousin who happen to be in town). Now, when there's a game going of a kid your supporting, I would think you would pay attention. Only hubsy, peeping mom & I were the ones paying attention as needed. EVERYONE else was starting conversations & acted like they were the only ones there. SERIOUSLY! When a game is going & you come up to ask me how the movie way, I will walk away from you. Just for future reference. Oh, and it's not the time to talk about politics, talk horribly about people who are dead, and/or how everything should be about you. Oh, and I know you want to tell the kid you're supporting they are doing a great job, but just because he takes a break on the bench doesn't give you the right to just walk over & start a conversation with them. WAIT UNTIL AFTER THE GAME! That's all I'm saying. And yes, that's what we were dealing with. Oh, and don't put pressure on the kid you're watching to score a goal & make sure the team wins just for YOUR bragging rights.

Then, after the game, we all were going to head over to our house for a cookout to celebrate Woogie's bday. I made a swirl cake, but have no decorating skills for a cake. That's my mom's territory, but Woogie wanted me to do it. Of course. So I had to fake all the baking plus made extra cupcakes, too. I did all the baking BEFORE the game & knew I'd have to decorate while the WHOLE family was there. SURPRISE! This included everyone at the game PLUS: my brother, grandma (yay!), SIL & hubby + girls, and with the addition of Teen Diva's new boyfriend. Whew!

So now I have MIL whining because I didn't make cupcakes SHE wanted! Um - I think she forgets it's not HER party. Then she eventually begins to tell EVERYONE (loudly) about the bachelor & bachelorette parties at strip clubs that hubsy's aunt & uncle went to a year & a half ago AND started talking about stripper names & lap dances. Um - in front of the kids. When we told her to shut up, she just started loudly whispering the rest of her thought. Then when we tell her to shut up AGAIN (reminding her about her grandchildren), she gives it a break for about 2 minutes & starts in on it again. Ugh & ew! Peeping mom is standing around in the kitchen watching my decorating failures & wanting to help. But I can DO this!! So I try & the cake turned out crazy, messy, cool! She admitted she was impressed. And I made my own icing - which mom approves of! YAY! Oh, and MIL & the aunt devoured the 3 leftover pieces of birthday cookie cake that Woogie was hoping to hold onto to have at another time. But they were hungry & couldn't wait for the grilling, so they gobbled it up & MIL wanted to know about licking the beaters from the cake batter. I can't make this stuff up, people. Then Goober (belongs to MIL - the yang to her yang), is all heart but just needs to sit in a corner. He wants to help & is a lot of talkin' about stuff he actually doesn't get. Have I ever mentioned how the inlaws need a 24/7 chaperone or assisted living? Just wondering - it's because they do! Meeting the boyfriend was OK. He seemed nice enough & they were cute together even though he is about 3 of her (she's super petite with a tiny & he was very tall with a bigger frame). But he was prepared to meet the lunatics (because that's how Teen Diva described the whole family - nice). We had to deal with MIL wanting to know when we were doing the cake so she could eat 4 of my cupcakes. Geesh!

When it came time for gifts, Woogie got a few new shirts & a couple of jackets. MIL was just announcing & gushing about how 'pretty' was going to look going back to school on Monday. Ugh. My poor son. And when it was time for all to depart, the inlaws think they are in so good with my grandma. She thinks they are immature & need to grow up! HA!! So do the rest of us.

FINALLY when everyone left, we just had the boyfriend hanging around. His mom brought him was going to pick him up late. That's fine - let's get to know him! But when it came time for him to be picked up - he just left. Teen Diva walked him out, but he said nothing to us. *RED FLAG*

Well, on Sunday, Teen Diva got to sing a little bit of a solo EARLY with the 'old people choir'. Very proud of her! And one of the girls she's having teen drama with had to sit there & watch & listen. HA! Well, during another service (our normal one), Teen Diva got a text message from the boyfriend. Not a good one either. It was a BREAKUP TEXT!! Because he doesn't drive & they wouldn't get to hang out much. WHAT?? For being such a big guy, he was certainly a weenie! But Teen Diva may have another guy in the wings; one she already had a thing for but didn't think she had any chance with. Well, there might be now. I told her to change her focus since this pig isn't worth her hormonal emotions! But, in diva-fashion, I think she's milking it for all it's worth.

*DEEP BREATH IN; DEEP BREATH OUT*

Then yesterday came around - Monday. This would mean? DOORMAT duties (with the SUCKER hat). And I was putting my guard up for DISORGANIZED DITTO-oh-oh-oh-oh! When I showed up, the copies had not even been made yet - so I went to check on them ---- and my arch nemesis had not shown up yet. So - I took the copies & RAN to the copy room. So that meant I was in charge this time!! Eventually, DISORGANIZED DITTO-oh-oh-oh-oh came blowing in like a tumbleweed & I told her what she needed to do & how to do it! Guess what? We were organized & got done faster. Go figure. VICTORY IS MINE!!!

So, also had Halloween - I did extra DOORMAT duties at Bossyhead's school as I got roped into helping with the party. Apparently my 'NO' button was broken when I got asked. But that was fun & I got to take Bossyhead home early! Worked out great! Had to put up Halloween decor for the Trick or Treaters, get my costume on, help the kids with their costumes, set out the candy, eat dinner, and attempt to watch Monday Night Football. What a night!I do love Halloween!

So, my friends, that's what I've been up to. I think you're mostly caught up!
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Messin' With Teen Diva

For the parents out there who end up watching the kids' show 'iCarly', you will be familiar with the bit they do called 'Messin' With Lewbert' (insert remote control crowd cheers here). If you don't know what I'm talking about, Carly & her two friends have a web show. They do a bit once in a while that focuses on pranking their horrible doorman at the apartment building. He is pretty nasty - and his name is Lewbert - and he has a nasty, giant wart on his face with a personality to match.

Well, Teen Diva isn't AS bad as Lewbert, but she can get pretty nasty & hateful. She's also fairly gullible & it is SO much fun to mess with! She may learn & become immune to it one of these days - but we will continue to have a lot of fun with it until & if that day ever comes!

If you saw my fantastic parenting in the cell phone blog post, you will know what an issue we can have with Teen Diva & her cell phone. Well, the mean parent struck again with that cell phone. Want to know what I did? Keep reading!

We have a rule about electronics in our house: ALL electronic from the kids (phones, laptops, Nintendo DS', iPods, etc.) MUST be turned in BEFORE they go bed. And they must get permission to retrieve ANY of their electronics. If these are not met, you lose your electronics by discretion. And we do still get them "forgetting" to turn their stuff in & sometimes we get them trying to find a loophole of sorts.

Of course, Teen Diva is a main culprit of this. We hear a lot of excuses as to why things can't be turned in. Usually it's because she "lost" the item in her black hole. She's even snuck her electronics out & tried to tell us that we never gave it back to her from last time, but it's sitting on her bed. Things like that. (a bonus tip: to keep them from sneaking them out during their "grounding", hide electronics in some kind of bag or garment & put it in the trunk of your car. Bwah-hahahaha)

Well, last night, we noticed she never came out of hiding after getting cleaned up. I went to check on her & she was PASSED OUT (almost sleeping beauty-style) on her bed with her phone placed beautifully on her pillow. So - I snuck over to the bed, took the phone, then turned out her light.

Being the "nice mommy", I checked to see if it needed charging. It did, so I plugged in her phone this time, but placed it under an end table while it charged. Apparently she got up at one point & freaked out because she couldn't find her phone.

When I woke her up this morning, I didn't say a word about it. She woke up talking 500 mph about how she looked for her phone & it was right there & she thought she had it & looked everywhere & she doesn't know where it is & blah-blah-blah. She never picked up on the fact that I was really calm about it. I just told her to eat breakfast.

She got done with breakfast early to spend TWENTY MINUTES trying to find her phone in her black hole. I reminded her she needed to get ready for school & to stop looking for the phone. However, in this time, she thought that taking our ONE landline receiver to the black hole to call the "missing" phone was a good idea - even though the cell phone is on vibrate & she now lost the ONE landline receiver in the black hole. Awesome.

I calmly took the phone off the charger & set the phone on her backpack. As she rushed to get herself together, I noticed she had a different, smaller bag. I asked her about her backpack & she said she didn't need it. I did inform her to check her backpack. She did & said she found the phone. She tried to ask me where it was at.

I told her to have a good day & sent her out the door. I wonder if she'll think through not turning in her phone. Well, at least for a week. The freak-out is WAY better than the grounding!

And it's so worth it, but holding her laptop, iPod & DS hostage in my trunk is pretty entertaining.
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Future White Elephants

My MIL is an avid garage saler. Sometimes it's to a fault. She has recently come into some extra freedom to go do more of it. The things she has ended up with lately, though have been MUCH less than appealing!

Recently the inlaws have been acquiring some animated animals that sing. 3 of them so far - one of them given to Teen Diva. A hamster singing "I'm Too Sexy" is Perfect White Elephant (PWE) #1.

They have also been picking up strange Christmas items. The most recent is a 3 ft tall, remote control Santa with a serving tray on his head. MIL is totally giddy about playing with it & making it go through their place. They want us out very soon to show it to us. Ick.

So, onto the visit last night. They came over after - you guessed it - garage saling ALL DAY LONG. Yay for us.

We have a rule at our house that the kids cannot have food or drink in their rooms. It's due to saving all of us from unneeded spills, germs, extra trash & missing dishes. I think it makes sense. But - when the inlaws showed up last night, this is what we find for Teen Diva:



When I confronted MIL about how this is not allowed, she informed me it is just for water. So I explained that this will encourage the disappearance of cups & glasses into Teen Diva's black hole. MIL said they planned on buying her little paper cups to keep in there. So - encouraging more trash. Oh, and spillage. I was pissed! And MIL didn't understand why. So? PWE #2 in the works - I don't care how much Teen Diva likes it.

Then, when I had a chance to just sit down on the couch, I saw one of the most horrendous things I have ever, Ever, EVER laid my eyes on. All I can say at this moment is - prepare yourselves.







Brace yourselves.









But here is what I promised.











Are you ready?















Are you sure?














Is the suspense killing you?






















Are you all OK? I still haven't recovered. Partially because it is still in our house! The inlaws noticed I wasn't as "taken" with it as MIL. She thought it was so pretty! She wanted Hubsy to put it in his office. Hubsy can't even look at it. And yes, what you are looking at what is PWE #3 - a seashell crucifix. A seashell cross is weird enough, but a plastic bleeding Jesus hanging from it, too? Then, even better - MIL said they had to fix Jesus' arm because it broke. They superglued the arm back on! I'm speechless looking at it - so is Hubsy.

And, not sure if I'm happy for this or hurting for them, but Woogie & Bossyhead didn't really get anything. Well, Bossyhead got pajamas that WE requested they pick up. So we knew what we were getting, but I can't imagine if they picked things out on their on at garage sales. Yowza.

So, since the inlaws are each other's yin to their yin (yes ,they are TOO much alike), and cannot discern anything, I'm am in true belief they need 24/7 chaperoning. Save us all!
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Parenting: Teens With Cell Phones

Teen Diva is having some school issues. The kind that we decided to begin emailing teachers to kind of keep up on things. When asking about what work she might be missing, here is a response I got from one of the teachers:

"...Teen Diva has plenty of time to raise her grade before the end of the semester, but she will need to focus better in class. She spends a great deal of time texting and checking her phone. I believe that she could easily complete the assignments in this class, but she seems preoccupied with other matters. I accept late work if it is turned in the day after it was due- but not past that unless there was an illness involved.

Let me know if you have any suggestions- I’m open to any recommendations you might be able to offer!"

Well, first, there is a policy where the teachers are supposed to take cell phones & have parents pick up the phone if caught texting in class. DUH! So that was our "suggestion" to this teacher - actually enforce the policy! DUH!

Well, lo & behold, when I picked up Teen Diva from school,she was complaining that this particular teacher had, indeed, taken her phone & the office was already closed. So she was hoping I'd get it for her the next day (yesterday).

I had a busy day hanging with the neighborhood & really didn't want to go over to the school since she had to be picked up later anyway, PLUS I had to go back over for a meeting that night. Too many trips.

Well, I got a whiney call from her wondering when I was coming to get the phone. I explained that I was waiting for her father to get home so he & I could run some errands a day early since Friday shaped up to be different that usual. Thursdays are "early" days at her school, but she had practice a little later & decided to stay through the down time. I said I couldn't promise coming to get the phone in time & she just needed to know that. But she was still begging for me to come up AND bring her charger!

She was still hoping I'd go get it & take it to her in the library at the school. Folks, this is a big school. I don't know where anything is except the attendance office & main office on my own. Either way, she was staying & I asked her what she planned to do during the down time. She offered up finishing homework & reading her overdue books. Good Idea! But she's pretty social & I knew that probably wasn't happening. Because she forgets we don't sit around all day hoping to do something for her at the very moment she asks. She does get reminded that there is a whole other world out there beyond just her.

Well, I got myself together & decided to go get the phone anyway. Simmer down, it's not "giving in" it's "parenting strategy". Here's how:

I went up to the school, had to go into the main office to pick up & sign out the phone. As I walked out, I looked straight down a hall --- right into the library! Hmmm - do I or don't I? I did! I walked down into a very crowded library! Dang it! So, I did a quick scan & found Teen Diva, sitting on a ledge, chatting with friends. In general, this is fine, but she was supposed to be at a table reading & doing homework. Remember?

So I walked over & approached her all stealth-like. She jumped when she realized I was totally Ninja-Mom, and I handed her the phone. As I handed it to her, I said, "Nice to see you reading." I turned and walked away & I hear as I walked toward the library exit, "But it's dead!" This prompted me to turn back over my shoulder, still walking out, & giving her a shrug. Keep in mind, it was in front of her friends & a crowded high school library.

That, my friends, is parenting! She still got what she wanted, but on my terms & with an element of cold surprise. Bwha-hahahah!
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Omelette Friday

Really? Of course this is how my Fridays have been going lately!

If you have read my 1st Omelette post or my 2nd Omelette post, you now have an idea about how this one will be going.

Fridays are a day when some necessary shopping gets done & I can partake in other things as I enjoy my day with Hubsy. *wink, wink*

Well, we've had very omelette-like Fridays lately, so this would be our first "back to 'normal'" Friday since school started. Right?

Well, I was getting ready for the store, making the list, etc., and got cleaned up, but had the notion to "switch things up a bit". *wink, wink* Hubsy did point out that he wondered if the day would now be thrown off. Whatever.

Well, we decided to check out a store or two after lunching & before heading to the store. That's when it started going haywire:

Teen Diva (you knew she had to be coming into this somewhere) had not made up her mind about going to an event this weekend which she would need tickets for. As we were planning our weekend, I thought I'd text her to see if she'd thought about it for sure. She texted back that she was "going to ask me earlier" if I could bring some $$ to her so she could get a ticket. REALLY? Not sure when she expected to tell me! When it would be too late & then we'd have to hear her tantrum about it? After making her feel bad about it & saying we were already out doing stuff & not sure I could get to her, she sent the whiniest text back (I could hear it, trust me).

In the meantime, hubsy was invited to play golf with a couple of guys that we were just having a conversation about. Well, it would work out for him to go play golf if I went & to give Teen Diva the $$ for her ticket. We would just wait on having food in the house.

That's what we decided to do. And (bad mommy) the only reason I decided to give into Teen Diva was because that meant we could go shopping for it. Mama loves a good shopping trip!

So hubsy & I enjoyed our morning (out of order, of course) then went & enjoyed a nice lunch, then went "window shopping", then came home so he could golf & I could "prep for a shopping trip". (Yes, that's what I'm choosing to call it.) We will have to go grocery shopping at some point, too. We will just have to take Teen Diva, Woogie & Bossyhead with us, too. D'oh! Forgot about that part!

So, my Friday really was scrambled, filled, fried & flipped for sure! Omelette, anyone?
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Oops She Did it Again

If you were already one of my neighbors about a week ago, you will remember I brought up in a status about Teen Diva setting her alarm for once, but sleeping through it because she was asleep on her floor on the other side of the bed.

'And in shocking news: Teen Diva actually set her alarm last night! Not so shocking news: she was sleeping through it...on the floor...on the opposite side of the bed. I'm concerned that may have been the wrong side of the bed. Good morning, to me. Need that coffee - and a small investment in Via.
September 1 at 5:44am'

OK, so she forgets to set her alarm & I have to get her anyway. Well, imagine my surprise when I was approaching the bedroom door while hearing her alarm. I did quickly figure out that she wasn't hearing it. When I opened the door, it was like deja vu.

I opened her bedroom door to see that her bed was empty & she was responding to me from, you guessed it - the floor, on the opposite side of the bed!

Now she doesn't usually set her alarm. I am the alarm that makes sure she actually gets out of bed, too. And, she is usually IN her bed. So I don't know what it is about setting your alarm & then going to sleep on the floor nearly as far away from the clock as possible, but I think she's defeating her own purpose.

Either way you look at it, I come to get her anyway.
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Oh No He Didn't

OK, many of you know how I feel about the mailman. If not, you need to read the previous post concerning this to fully understand.

Yesterday, I could hear the truck throughout the neighborhood, because it's obviously not fixed yet. He was going extra slow yesterday, but whatever. I went out to get the mail, and I found a little form from the post office stating that they had tried twice to deliver a parcel to me, but since no one was here to receive it, I could either to the post office to get it or fill out the form to tell them when to deliver it. Well I certainly did not want to deal with the mailman, so I decided to pick it up at the post office. I was picking up Teen Diva from school anyway & the post office is right by her school - so it was really convenient to just pick it up myself.

I was baffled as to what it might be though. I had received a package not long ago that had a second parcel that was supposed to come with it. I had contacted the company sending me my stuff that I didn't get all of it, so I found a replacement (?) on my front porch - sent through the mail, mind you. (see the other blog post to know how that goes) So that is why I was so baffled that they couldn't deliver whatever it might be!

I picked up Teen Diva & went over. We waited in a long line to find out what it was. My only guess is it was the missing parcel from the 1st delivery. Imagine my shock when I finally got to a cashier & to see what she brought out to me...

This woman brought out a box - a white box - a white box that could hold a CD or DVD. Seriously. Now, I was even more baffled. Then I got thinking - I sent off for a free sample of a Burberry scent, but certainly this wasn't it - couldn't be!

A few months ago, I sent off for a Jell-O mold & it was crammed into our mailbox. Our mailman puts also puts the mailed boxes of checks in there, so this box given to me would have fit in the mailbox.

So, I am trying to figure out, for the life of me, why this guy couldn't put a freaking PERFUME SAMPLE in the mailbox.

That's right. I went to the post office to pick up a free perfume sample. A PERFUME SAMPLE! Teen Diva couldn't believe it either. I was inconvenienced because this guy refused to put a smaller box than a Jell-O mold into the mailbox - twice. And I didn't even know about it those times. The form was my breaking news.

I know I've said it before, but if the post office is about ready to shut down operations, wouldn't they try anything to keep things going? Like maybe starting with overall customer service? Since things have gone all "digitized" in that department, the postal employees have cared so much less.

So, any thoughts on what I can do to this crusty, grumpy, old mailman? He's willing to walk up to the front door to drop things on our porch, but won't leave my free sample in the mailbox? Because I am sensing a disgruntled employee who needs to retire soon...very, very soon.

On a brighter note, Teen Diva & I smelled really good on the way home. She said we smelled expensive. HA!
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What Has Happened to Me?

I became a S@HM for the 3rd time over two years ago. In between, I had a working life.

When I was at a J.O.B., I found that my holiday or wish lists included things to look good for work, things that would help me through the day, gift cards that I could get that stuff myself, etc. But lately I began to realize these wants have changed.

I have started baking more in the last year. I realized that I wanted several things for that: baking pans, utensils, major mixers, etc. Trust me, 5 years ago, this never would have crossed my mind!

Also, a few days ago, we had some chicken thawed out for hubsy to grill. The one day that fit in our schedule for him to grill, he didn't feel like it. I can count on 1 hand how many times I have ever fixed chicken. Seriously. Usually that's a thing hubsy works with. Well, we had to use the chicken. I know many are pulling out the crock pots again, so I decided to do the same. You know - "lazy cooking". I threw in some seasoning stuff that hubsy would have used for grilling into the crock pot with the chicken. Very happy with how it came out & I didn't have to worry about burning it. So, since our crock pot was one of our wedding gifts, which was before timers were being put on them, I find myself wanting to do more lazy cooking & get an updated crock pot.

Really? A mixer? A crock pot? What is happening to me? Just the other day, hubsy took Woogie & Bossyhead to the driving range while Teen Diva stayed home to break into some sewing & I stayed around to bake. Uh - what stereo types did we just become? I think I'm more bothered that I was OK with it!

I have read articles around gift-giving holidays that there are certain gifts you should NEVER give a woman. One of the things pointed out happened to be kitchen appliances, even if she asks for it. Two years ago, or before, I would have completely agreed with it! However, if I ask for this stuff - I really do want it! I would be so overjoyed by getting a new big mixer or a fancy lazy cooker!

Trust me. If any family members ever read this, they would be taking me to a hospital or checking me into a psyche ward. Luckily, this is my time away from them, so I can look & feel pathetic to my neighbors.

So, you can get me a new coffee pot, too.
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Omelette Day: The Hectic, The Good, The Bad AND Ugly

Originally, my only obligation for Labor Day was helping out with my goddaughter's 16th birthday. It was happening in my hometown. All of our family also live in my hometown, so once they caught wind of needing to be out there, they started bookending the day quickly. So, if you saw my recent Omelette Week post, imagine it happening within a day.

I got some baking done for the birthday party, but it turned out I burned some of it. Ugh. By the time I figured it out, I needed to go to bed. So I had to redo some of the baking first thing this morning by getting up early. Ugh. I was finishing some laundry, too. I was going like crazy for over 3 hours before I even got to get cleaned up. By then, I had about 45 minutes to get cleaned up & completely ready to begin our day. Teen Diva wasn't fairing so well as she wasted her time. Bossyhead needed cleaned up & tried to worm his way out of it - I won that round. Woogie just went with the flow, luckily. Hubsy decided to leave the premisses while all of this was going on - not a help.

We did make it out the door to go meet my family at a restaurant for lunch & surprise my grandmother. That was a nice visit & we had a great server. Then onto the next part of the day: the birthday party.

Teen Diva & I went to the party. It was great fun, plus I got to hang out with my childhood best friend & her family. We are a big bunch of dorks who can whoop it up with or without help (like wine). We only drank lemonade with the teenagers there, and I think we had more fun dancing & such than they did. What a great time! Then came dinner with the inlaws.

I want to make it clear that I love my inlaws - I really, REALLY do. But it's hard to defend that & show it after this evening. Last weekend, when they were over at our place, we fixed them enchiladas. So when they took the back bookend of the day, they wanted to feed us, too. They hoped for some grilling time, but decided last minute to fix...enchiladas. Plus they were going to invite a whole group of people. This is not a big deal, but stick with me.

My brother inlaw has this one friend who I do not approve of. He is morally screwed up & just not right. He can convince people to do things, but not me. When he comes, guess who leaves the room if possible? *raises hand* I was not informed he was going to be there, and I never want him around my kids - EVER! Well, while Teen Diva & I were whooping it up, the boys were going to go get haircuts. My MIL said that one of the girls coming by does hair & was going to check to see if she could come out early to help out. Well, after all the hair was cut (not happy with Woogie's), we all gathered around to start eating.

As we sat down, in through the back door entered Unwanted. They all know my feelings for this guy. My sister inlaw feels the same way I do & won't let him near her kids either. That should be a hint. Well, I noticed he sat with my kids & the haircutter, then realized he shared a seat with her. I later asked who the girl actually was. As it turns out, she is one of the infidelities of Unwanted. I was angry with my inlaws for making this OK since they know my feelings about Unwanted, but my hubsy too for allowing all of this to be around & touch my children! I'm not speaking to hubsy - or MIL. Never should've happened. I'm still livid.

Maybe I'm tired, maybe I'm PMSing, but the middle part of the whole day is what I'm clinging to. Oh, and the fact that the inlaws didn't dress as twinkie-twins for the first time in weeks. Thank God!

So, how was your Labor Day?
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Get a Flow Chart - It's My Fault

I'm not even sure how it happened - but I have an idea:

If you kept up on Facebook with our family visit to 'Hillbilly Fest' (name given by a friend), then you will understand our late afternoon. We didn't stay very long due to the enormous amount of Labor Day weekend crowds there, anyway. Since we were all hungry, we decided to leave to get something to eat.

Hubsy began to poll the kids about eating establishment possibilities. Of course they were all over the board, but a pizza joint & a sub sandwich place seemed to be the front runners. Bossyhead was loudly hoping for the sub sandwich place, but the vote (apparently) rested with me. I was hungry & it didn't matter what we had. However, one did win out - pizza sounded better to me than the subs. So, pizza it was!

When we got into the restaurant, it was obvious how cold it was. I figured we would all warm up a bit when we got our food, but it was SERIOUSLY cold! And it didn't help that our food took a LONG time to get to us. Teen Diva was already mad that we didn't just pick up some fast food since she didn't want to wait at all. Oops.

As we waited...a long...LONG time, Bossyhead started reiterating how cold it was, figured that if we went to the sub shop, then we wouldn't be cold. He then decided that since the final vote was mine, it was all MY fault he was cold at that moment.

Yes indeed, too smart for is own 6-year-old good.

The food was good, and we all survived.

Did you need that flow chart?
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