Making Mountains Out of Mole Hills

I did something today. Something I should have done a long time ago.

After BOO & BEA ESCAPED not too long ago, and I got a couple cards in the mail to Vicky's Hideout, I needed to find a new brassiere accommodation system of prison pods for the girls.

A few years ago, Oprah had a mass bra fitting at her studio with the females of her audience. They came out all confused about their new size! Smaller widths & bigger cups were getting them all excited! But I thought I knew mine. And since I had the means, I thought I'd make it official.

So, for the first time ever, I got the twins measured.

Now I need you to understand that, in the days of development, I probably did not really need a bra. I could have put Scotch tape over my peaks & it would have been fine. And I've always dealt with a midsize portion ideal for a long time.

However, I have now discovered why the girls were trying to bust out. They were not comfortable in their accommodations.

As the adorable 20-something girl quickly strangulated the twins with her tape measure, she dashed out of the fitting room proclaiming that I was needed a WAY different size than I had EVER thought I'd ever hear!

Teen Diva had expanded my ribcage when I was pregnant with her. Not the funnest game of hide-&-go-seek ever. So it expanded my rib area a bit. However, the undercarriage of the twins' hammocks were actually the size I might have been in high school. Now, let's discuss the hammock size.

I have never paid mind to the big-boob-girl problems. I know females with big boobs. I had a friend wish she could be a donor for me. Seriously.

So imagine my shock when the girl hammocks should be the size of big boob problems!! My eyes popped out of my head & I started laughing. The poor Vicky's girl couldn't figure out why I was cackling as she was handing me a pile of over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders & running through the types very quickly. She may have wanted to get out of the dressing room while she had a chance. She was probably also thinking the walls in that one should be padded like a push up to contain the mad woman she was leaving in there.

Imagine my shock when those chest slings actually fit! I giggled the whole time.

I do think, however, I scared off the poor bra girl. She ran away quickly & another stepped into her place. I'm not sure the new 20-something girl was warned about the mad woman in the push-up padded dressing cell. I figured out what would work for my magical new boobs & told her I found something. She asked if the fit worked - well, I started cackling again! I think SHE needed to put her eyes back into her head. She kept telling me that "size didn't matter" & the whole thing about "as long as it's a good fit" spiel.

I, then, realized she had no idea that I had walked into Vicky's that day with pretty mediocre mole hills, and walked out of there with MOUNTAINS!

Boo & Bea are, in fact, a documented mountain range. Kind of reminded me of Mt. Rainier:
You have no idea it's there most of the time. But then - one day - BAM! Mountain!

I told Hubsy about it. We were confused & amused by my magical new boobs.

Darn it! I should have waited until our anniversary to tell him! He would have thought I got him a mountain range as a gift!

Oh - and they may have this mad woman's mug posted behind the counter at Vicky's. I'm sure they want to brace themselves & have counselors on hand.

On the bright side, Boo & Bea should be thrilled with their new mountain peak covers.

And I'm going to research big boob problems. Apparently I have them.

I Wore a Bra and Hat For This

If you read my previous post about taking Bossyhead to school, then you know how that tends to go.

He asked me to be a car rider again today. I have not yet cleaned my car, so the chances of things falling out onto someone else's feet are very high. Plus I have some boxes in there too - momentarily. That would block him from getting out on the side they want him to, and I am not moving his booster seat to the other side. So this was going to be entertaining. And I would need to at least wear a hat. Trust me.

As I fretted over the thought of the messy car back in the kiddie drive-thru, Bossyhead tells me there's no need to go through that line. I was confused, but relieved. Then he told me it because he wants me to go into his classroom. WHAT?? Oh, man! That means I actually have to put on a bra & get dressed, AS WELL AS wear a hat. But I had to talk to his teacher anyway about an upcoming "event" we will be unable to attend due to another appointment on the books & priorities.

So I got myself together, helped get Bossyhead together, and took him to school. I will have to admit that walking past the kiddie drive-thru gave me a small sense of relief. And then we walked in.

I spoke to his teacher about the event we would not be at, so she gave me some information about what was going to be covered. She then said that one of the topics was about volunteers & cornered me into volunteering...every week...on Monday mornings. Are you kidding? Talk about feeling blindsided.

I almost felt like Bossyhead & his teacher were in cahoots. That's what I wore a bra & hat for today. Do you think that if I'd left my pajamas on, no bra & crazy bed hair alone, they may have had second thoughts on that volunteering thing?

Something tells me that I will have to put my foot down on Bossyhead being a car rider anymore. The bus is fine transportation.
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